What does it take to be happy? I mean completely, unequivocally, wholly full of contentment, joy and happiness. Are we programmed, at least as women to always crave the highs and lows of life? Or is that just me? Why is it that the manic moments in life such as heartbreak or lust are the ones we so vividly remember? Is it okay to desire more than just the everyday grind of laundry, dishes and sleep?
It seems to me, in recent conversations and research, that women initiate the ending of their marriages in 75% of the cases. Men are left confused and shell shocked as to what went wrong. After all, they've worked hard to provide for their family, stepped up to help with chores and really focused on the communication aspect of their relationship. From the outside looking in, women seem to have it all. What would cause them unhappiness when they have their health, a great career, a wonderful family and beautiful home?
Can we ever really have it all? It seems that the answer is this: nobody is ever happy with what they have. It's never enough. There is always a void of some sort. We always want what we don't have.
If you're like me, I'm multifaceted, extreme and sometimes just plain nuts. While I can appreciate the safety and joy of my life, there is always the dreamer in me that sends me on a journey far far away wondering "what if" my life was different? What happens if I have children and it doesn't fill that void everyone says it does? I know as a parent, you put your selfish single behaviour on a shelf for at least 30 years. Am I ready to finally take that trip to Italy with my husband when he is 70 years old?
As we change individually, are we growing alongside our partner or merging into our own lane of finding ourselves? If it's true that at our core, people can't change, why do we spend fifty years with someone trying to mold them into our ideal?
I used to be a judgemental person in using such definite words as "always" and "never" when looking at others and how they lived their lives. I've realized that those that are happiest in relationships, careers and self are the ones who live by their own standards and not the ones that are defined in the traditional institutions. What might work in someone else's household may not sound politically correct to the outside world. I used to frown on people who lived in separate homes or took "time off" during dating. After all, the manic part of me would want to see my significant other every day of the week. If he wanted time off, wouldn't that mean that I am not trying hard enough? Why would couples take separate vacations when they've spent all that time either dating or chasing each other to finally settle down and get married? After all, isn't that what the entire process of dating is all about? To get to the point where someone chooses you to be with for the rest of their lives?
Why does everything have to be so cut and dry? Where's the fun? You know, going out, having a good time and not thinking about the future. Enjoying the moment. Seizing the day. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. My husband asked me last night how I would like to be remembered. Wouldn't I rather be remembered as a wife, mother, and a person helping out in her community rather than someone fun, wild and sexy? Does it really have to be an AND/OR situation? Can't we be responsible and flighty, a good person and sexy, a great wife and lover all in one?
Sometimes in life, we have to take a risk, turn off our brains and live in the moment. Like the moments in this song, there are extreme slow and fast paced periods in this lifetime. Embrace them equally, close your eyes and feel the groove.
At least that's what a free bird like myself is saying.
Love this scene in the movie Elizabethtown.....keep playing on despite the fire and water.
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