For the eyes. For the heart. For the ears. For the feet. For the soul.

Friday, July 2, 2010


Both my husband and I were raised for a short period in our lives by single moms. We had step-fathers in the picture but not biological fathers. I myself do not have any children, but often wonder how hard it must have been for my mom to keep it all together.

I wonder which generation has it hardest. Back then, there were no internet support groups or chat rooms for like-minded situations such as being a single parent. Seeing a shrink was hardly something that was of discourse and there were not as many well-paying jobs for women 30 years ago. Flex-hours in the workplace hardly existed as well as online training to advance your skills, or blackberries to keep life's events organized.

Leaping forward into this generation, we have all the tools of technology at our fingertips but still can't manage to keep up with two parents and two incomes. The problem seems to be the superwoman syndrome. There is so much pressure on women to have every realm of their life in check and I see many friends who are struggling to keep it together, yet always smile and say life is perfect and great.

Why is it that we can't be honest with each other as women? I saw an episode on Oprah where two mothers wrote a book on the honesty of the mistakes they have made raising a child and the forum was free for women to be honest without judgement. Who are we to judge anyone really? I may shake my head at the lady in the grocery store who can't keep her kids from screaming at unbearable decibels but maybe one day I'll be there too and hope that nobody is frowning on me with that disapproving look.

One woman on Oprah recounted a story of feeding her child dinner from snacks she had in the back seat of the car. Another admitted to enjoying a glass of red wine in the next room while her child cries in the bedroom. We can gasp, point the finger or think what we want but nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.

Click here for a recap of that episode:

Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile were guests on this episode. They discussed their book "Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms" in an honest and vulnerable way that made me feel better about not being perfect and less afraid of failing as a mom.

My mom always said to do the best I can, and I truly believe that all moms out there are doing just that. I think single moms have it twice as tough and I would just like to give a "thanks" to my mom for all that she did for me. Despite our ups and downs, challenging teenage years, differences and now shockingly, similarities, I know that she gave motherhood her all.

Give your mom a hug today and if she's no longer with you, say a prayer of thanks for all that she did for you.

1 comment:

Robin said...

What a great reality check. I'm nowhere near being perfect and I'm hard on myself when I see others that seem to have done their job with ease and perfection. It would be good once in a while to hear we're not alone as we make mistakes and slip up every so often, and also remember we're doing the best we can every day.