I read with interest your recent blog on mid-life crisis and aging. Unfortunately there is a pre-conceived notion out there about older people. Being 64 years of age does not make me old…old is a state of mind where one basically sits around waiting to die. Aging on the other hand is much different than being old. With aging there is the ability to reflect on times past and enjoy, albeit sometimes only mentally, all the good things, experiences and memories that have taken place in our lives to make us the people we are. Most “old” people that I know are bitter…but they were that way at 25, at 50 and still at 80….life was never good enough for them then or now…so they sit and wait. No need to wait….death is inevitable and it will come – but being old is not a prerequisite for dieing, it just happens! We can plan for death, or not plan, it doesn’t matter – when our time comes, it’s game over.
Flannel pajamas??? I’ve never owned a pair and certainly don’t intend on going down that road, ever! Sexy nighties fill a drawer in my dresser but most often bedtime is “au natural” in spite of the surplus rolls, the stretch marks and the waning elasticity of the skin. Flesh on flesh begins at birth and is a sensation that brings about warmth, love, closeness and fragility – I don’t think that anything else can compare.
Intimacy….ahhhhhhhhhhhh now there is a subject that has no age limit. I know most of my senior friends engage in some type of sexual intimacy at least a couple of times a week…some even more. When I was in my 30’s raising a family, working full time, going to school working on my degrees, paying bills, keeping a house, being totally exhausted, etc. I had less energy and desire for intimacy than I do now and with kids around, it certainly wasn’t spontaneous. Age has nothing whatsoever to do with intimacy. Also, being post menopausal there is no concern for birth control and no unexpected “friend” showing up on holidays. Intimacy stops or wanes for many reasons….aging is not the major reason though, it is usually medications or lack of interest by either partner or by both and can occur at any age..
Early bedtime?? Not many seniors I know are in bed by 9pm…only those in nursing homes or those who have no other interests. We are rarely in bed before midnight as we have lots of things going on in our lives and some days seem to be too short as there are only 24 hours and we sure could use another 5-6 to do everything we want to do.
Grey hair….hmmmm…..I know of 20 somethings getting grey hair so being “old” has nothing to do with it. Yes, there are mostly seniors out there who have grey hair(s) but again, it is just not old people who have this phenomenon.
Wrinkles….at 64 I have some but they are good wrinkles….caused by laughing, smiling, enjoying life. Furrowed brows and pursed lip lines are not the good kind and only come from taking life too seriously and not enjoying the gifts that are offered to us each and every day.
As older people…64 & 65…we are nowhere near calling it quits on this thing called life. We still turn up the tunes, enjoy our wine, marvel in the fact that we still find each other interested and interesting….and we still dance whenever possible with our favourite being the Horizontal Boogie!
In this world of "thou must be the perfect female" - skinny, young, beautiful, flawless, dominated, disposable....I cringe at the thought how young teenagers are being molded mostly by the media. I am not a feminist by any means nor am I skinny, beautiful, flawless, dominated or disposable...and Hell will freeze over before I am any of those things. I am a female who is educated, independent, intelligent, happy in my own skin, nearing an age where a generation ago would have been thinking about their demise, have plenty of faults but have learned how to cope with them, resourceful, creative with many other qualities that make me an individual who is unique in this crass culture. I used to be quite intimidated by what others thought..now I don't give a flying fig. It's only their opinion and they are entitled to it however wrong it may be. I find that others criticize or dislike qualities in others only because they see those same traits in themselves that disgust them to infinite depths...so it's easier to lash out at others than to work on changing those loathing flaws from within.